Failing to find the time of your life at college? You are not the only one.
A student named Robert used up much of his orientation week looking at social media, reading posts about peers enjoying evenings out.
"I stayed indoors," Robert recalls, depicting those days as the most solitary phase of his life.
His housemates seldom socialized, and his course didn't feel particularly social.
Although he tried by going to taster sessions for multiple organizations, he was unable to locate like-minded individuals.
"I started to lose my self-assurance," he says. "I felt like others weren't interested to form friendships with me, or they weren't fond of me."
Social Media Comparisons
Originally, Robert wasn't considering of going to university and was offered positions for following college.
But then he watched his acquaintances living it up as university attendees on social media.
"When you've got to get up for your job during the week at 9:00 and you observe peers partied on Wednesday night, you do start thinking situations appear superior," Robert mentions.
College Anticipations
TV shows and online platforms can romanticize the concept of university living.
Lots of people begin university with great anticipations for what they believe could be the best years of their lives.
Various learners arrive at college with "rose-tinted glasses," says a mental health professional.
Research Results
- Through surveys of first-year attendees early on, the primary worry was belonging and feeling included
- Additional research through polling organizations, 17% of students said they were without companions at university
- A substantial portion mentioned they worried daily or weekly about building relationships
Individual Stories
Another student's online videos was full of videos of students enjoying themselves while sharing accommodation in student houses.
Yet when she relocated from her previous location to campus to pursue media studies, she found freshers' week "overwhelming" because of how much alcohol it involved.
Alisha doesn't drink and had avoided party scenes before.
"I actually passed a lot of freshers' week within my living space," she says. "I merely sensed somewhat isolated."
Psychological Aspects
In a 2025 survey of more than 10,000 college learners, a significant portion mentioned they had considered dropping out.
The main cause was emotional state, accompanied by economic considerations.
"Anxiety about these various aspects is very widespread, and normal," adds a counselling expert.
Discovering Answers
Over periods, all three individuals gradually adjusted and formed relationships.
Alisha made friends during classes and through TikTok, while Christina felt happier once she was able to share accommodation with peers.
Useful Suggestions
In his case, currently in his mid-twenties and in his concluding studies, it was engaging in performance groups and working occasionally that helped him make friends.
The suggested approach to beginning learners experiencing connection challenges is to venture outside your living space and participate in group trial sessions.
"After a few weeks of consistently showing up, individuals become familiar with you," he mentions, "you recognise theirs, and friendships begin forming."